A stranger knocks at my door. It could be the neighbour that I never see, one of those people preachers, or someone who has lost their dog. I open the door.
‘Have you seen my dog? I live next door. I left him at home whilst I went out preaching and when I returned home he was gone. Maybe he jumped over the wall into your garden?’
‘ No. I have not seen your dog. But here are some instructions, and I handed her my ‘How to Find a Lost Dog’ pamphlet, ‘to help find your dog. You see I lost my dog at one time too.’And as an afterthought I add: ‘If he shows up I’ll knock on your door.’
The pamphlet read:
One: Go home; the dog maybe looking for you.
Two: Get into your car and plot a route to the river: He may have decided to jump off a bridge. Not there either? It may not be too late.
Three: Abandon the car and go and see a West End musical: He may have a talent for singing and dancing. Still no?
Four: Get back into the car and drive around in the dark as the dog may have may prefer to show himself at night. Nope?
Five: Check the local Fish and Chip shop. He may have a hunger for fries. Guess what, not there?
Six: Head home.
Seven: Turn the TV on: He may appear on Crimewatch as that ‘Lost Dog’: If no?
Eight: Check with the local dog kennel and if he is not there then how about adopting another best friend?
Next day I see my neighbour with a dog, her dog. Turns out it was hiding in the shower.